Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Yeah! Hi Blog. Did you miss me?
I can honestly say that operation peek-a-boo was a success. Apparently all that was found were adhesions. Adhesions hurt!
So now that I feel somewhat better I have had less of a need to vent..hehe not really I feel better physically but I'm stressed to the max!
HOLIDAYS + my store closing = STRESSED LIZ
Monday, October 10, 2011
Monday, October 3, 2011
Home from Operation Peek-A-Boo. I'm super nauseated and feel like I just got my guts pulled apart....well I guess I sort-of did :)
From what my Mom can recall Dr. T found and removed 3 sets of adhesions. I will find out more at my post-op and update more then.
Thank You Everyone for all of your support and good vibes :)
Saturday, October 1, 2011
How common is this? What are the doctors not telling us? Better yet what doesn't the medical community know about this?
At my last appointment with my surgeon we were discussing what he might possibly find during operation peek-a-boo. He believes he won't find anything (and I firmly believe this also). He did mention to me that sometimes...just sometimes... people do have unexplained abdominal pain after weight loss surgery. I have read so many blogs, listened to so many other post ops who have been told the same thing. No one can give them the answers as to why they are in pain. Some doctors have said it's because they lost weight quickly, that maybe it's psychological, they don't take supplements properly, or maybe they just don't follow the WLS rules we are all given when we are brand new post ops.
Whatever the reason is...I would like an answer for my pain!?!
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Monday, September 5, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
He said the next step would be to do some sessions of bio-feedback and also acupuncture....um...no thank you to the needles
I'm going to totally be honest right not. I don't feel as if I am at the point where I need to learn how to manage this abdominal pain. I want answers I want to know whats wrong. So the next step is back to Dr. T this Friday to discuss.
I just want someone to tell me whats wrong
oh and peppermint tea is yucky!
Friday, August 26, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
1. I am having problems adjusting to my current body size and I feel that I am hearing a lot of negative comments from people saying that I am to thin.
2. I am in pain. I have this pain in my tummy and the GI Dr. and Dr T both don't know what is going on. This is wearing me down. I
Monday, August 15, 2011
|yes I do take several different brands of calcium. I refuse to put all of my eggs in one basket :)|
This is what I take:
Calcet creamy calcium bites lemon and chocolate (both YUMMY!)
Celebrate Cherry Tart calcium chewable (this is the only chewable I can do)
Citracal Calcium Citrate +d
Bariatric Advantage Carmel Chews, the lemon are good also (I don't care for the other flavors)
Celebrate Multi-vitamin capsules
Kirkland Vitamin C (from Costco)
B-12 sub-lingual (Trader Joes has the best!)
Check them both out and ask for samples. I know celebrate vitamins sends out freebies and bariatric advantage has sample packs if you call and ask!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
WLS- weight loss surgery
RNY - roux-en-y gastric bypass
NSA - no sugar added
NSV- non scale victory
LF- low fat
SF- sugar free
Terror #1 - My niece Ashlynn who is now 9
Terror #2 - My nephew Cody who is now
Teenage Terror- My niece Cayla who is 16
Daisy and Harley- my 2 dogs. Daisy is a Boston terrier and Harley is a chihuahua
Dr. T - My surgeon
Nurse B - the best nurse ever/ Dr T's nurse
CT - Dr T's physician assistant
Dr K aka GI Dr - GI doctor
MF - nutritionist
DR S- psychologist
Scripps Green- hospital where I had my WLS and gall bladder surgery
I know I talk in the blog about the pain but I don't recall if I have ever expressed what "the pain" really is. It started a few months back. When I would eat it would hurt about 20 minutes after. I had this consistent burning, gnawing sensation all the time. The first time I told Dr. T about this I was put back on PPIs and given carafate to help my stomach heal...possible ulcer?! It didn't help so he ordered yet another CT scan...I swear I've had like 5 since my WLS for various reasons. The CT scan showed zip, zero, nothing...they never do!
Next step was an endoscopy at the beginning of May (I think) this also showed zip, zero, nothing. Next was the sickness at the beginning of July which resulted in an upper GI and small bowel series which you guessed it showed zip, zero, nothing.
Next step was the GI Doctor who basically doesn't know whats wrong with me and now the pain has changed. I don't need to eat to be in pain. It just shows up on its own. It wakes me up at night. I just want someone to have an answer, an easy fix. I am starting to think its in my head. I am a very black and white kind-of person and all these tests show that nothing is wrong...so in my mind it must be in my head....right?
Maybe its stress I don't know. I don't know what to do at this point. I don't know how much longer I can live each day like this. I know eventually I will have to let Dr. T go in and look around but I already know whats going to happen....he isn't going to find anything wrong with me! I'm discouraged.
I do have one more option integrative medicine. Dr T's most amazing nurse ever B had suggested it before but I sort of laughed it off. I talked to her this past Monday when she came back from vacation and she said it again so I agreed to give it a try. I am willing to try anything at this point and I trust her opinion so maybe just maybe it might help. To me exploratory surgery is my LAST option besides work is a mess right now and I cant take time off...remember I am a work-a-holic too ;-)
So I'm gonna go take a different approach and remain positive.
Oh and I'm going to see the Psychologist who I did my pre-op consult with Monday...maybe it is in my head or maybe just maybe something is going on in my old tummy? <------which is what I think it is :)
Saturday, August 13, 2011
My favorite by far is the vanilla latte. I tried the mocha but it was way to strong for me. I haven't tried the new all natural CLICK yet but I will soon.
Go buy it here! Amazon has the best price and you can do the subscribe and save to save even more money. Its protein and coffee...enough said :)
Oh and I LOVE my little container. It should be used for baby formula but holds 3 servings of CLICK :)
Friday, August 12, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I know over the span of our life together we have had a Love-Hate relationship. I remember how excited I was the days following my WLS when I saw your numbers going down. I was relieved to leave the 300's and I cried when I saw 199 pounds. Never in my adult life have I been anywhere in the 100's. Our surgeon set a goal for us and we flew right past it. I set a goal for us and with tons of hard work we made it but lately Ive been noticing a small problem.
Yes! We still have a problem. I don't know what I have been doing but you keep going down. Well I know what I am not doing. I know I'm not eating enough calories. See my stomach hurts when I eat so I guess I just forget to eat. I know this is a poor excuse and I know I need to do better. I need your help. Please stop moving down. I never thought I would ever want you to stop going down but I like where I'm at right now. I just went clothes shopping and bought some really cute stuff and it fits.
I am so sick and tired of people telling me I'm to thin. I'm not. I know I'm not but when people keep telling you stuff you start to believe it. I don't know what to say to people when they tell me this. I am just at a loss for words...and if you know me like I know you do that's a rare occasion.
So please lets work together on this :)
Overall I haven't had many food intolerances. I have been very lucky on this front. Some food days are better then others. Due to my on-going un-diagnosed aka wtf is wrong with you stomach issues. I did find it very hard to get all of my protein in. I still struggle. I know a lot of days I don't hit my protein goal but I try to take it one day at a time and find other options for protein.
I cant do protein shakes. If I can taste even a hint of whey I just cant do it. I cant do soy. I have my one and only favorite CLICK! (but that's a whole other post). I eat tons of plain Greek Yogurt. I mix it in everything that I can. Greek Yogurt is great. You can make it sweet or savory.
For me the key to success so far has been meal planning. Maybe its partly due to my OCD-ish tendencies but I have to plan out my food the night before my day. If I don't do this I have noticed I either eat like crap or don't eat at all. Mostly I just wont eat at all. I still at over 16 months post op don't feel hungry. If you would of told me I never would feel hunger again I would of called you a liar but I still don't feel hungry. I live everyday waiting for this feeling to return. In a twisted sort-of way I do miss it but I don't want it back...he he does that even make sense?
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Ladies you will understand when I tell you how much I LOVE shopping at Victorias Secret.
As a plus size girl I could never shop in this store and I sort of never understood why people went all giggly over shopping there but now I get it. Its a skinny girl thing.
Yep! I said it..the skinny word *eak*
I love being able to buy all the cute panties, bras, and other unmentionables!
I swear I have purchased at least 8 bras in the past 6 months and ladies we all know Victorias Secret ain't cheap
Its OK I'm totally worth it :)
Monday, August 8, 2011
Tonight before I left work I received a phone call from (insert name here) whos boyfriend was just arrested for domestic violence. They fight all the time. I have seen the warning signs and offered to find her help. She always says no and that she can handle it. She couldn't handle it. No one should ever be asked or even feel as if they need to "handle" being someones punching bag. She is so young. She doesn't deserve this. I pray that she stays away from him and that she finds someone to love her for her.
I hope the judge throws the book at him.
It breaks my heart.
I don't know what kind of man would ever raise his hand in anger to anyone let alone the woman he loves.
Hi it's me. Your owner/operator. This past weekend wasn't a good one. Losing 6 pounds since Friday is completely unacceptable.
We received some not so nice news on Thursday and for some reason you have decided to act like an immature little child. I haven't been able to really eat all weekend and I am not a fan of protein shakes so that's not going so well either.
What I am trying to ask is that you play nice from now on?
I have decided that we are so not letting Dr. T open us up and look around. That is unless you start to play nicely with me. I can manage the pain overall but I can't deal with another weekend like this last one. I don't want to end up in urgent care getting fluids. Urgent care sucks. I know we both hate it there!
I don't know what else to do with you. Cute Gi Dr is stumped and so is Dr. T. The only other option is to go outside of my medical group and get yet another opinion. I don't want to do this. I really don't want to go see another doctor. I'm so over going to the doctors in general.
So please grow up and play nice.
I come home from work and creepy neighbor guy is at the pool. Seriously! boo. So I decide that I will just go on a nice walk.
I am stressed from work and the cookie issue and I need to clear my head. Besides I feel like a total fool that stuck my foot into my mouth from an event over this weekend and I needed to clear my head.
Workout clothes, iPhone, water bottle and off I go. I walked for almost 2 hours. I gotta admit I lost track of time. I feel better now. I still feel like an idiot that stuck my foot in my mouth but oh well life goes on and I will most likely never see this person again so I need to get over it! hehe I know I'm a dork :)
I realized that I am starting to like the pain you get in your muscles from when you over work them. I say this now as I am still laying in bed and I probably won't be able to stand all day at work and be crying about it later.
I really wish I could find someone who lived by me to workout with. I need a workout buddy but my schedule is so wacky it probably would never work.
I am making a commitment to work out more even if it is alone. I had stopped working out due to the whole blood sugar thing but I have learned what my triggers are and I have also learned to carry glucose tabs and I have been trying to eat some different food combos before a workout to see if that helps. Tonight after my walk my sugar was at 62. Which is still isn't good but its better then where its been and hey I'm working on it :) Everyday is a new adventure for me!
Sorry I am rambling.
For some strange reason this song totally pumps me up...I dunno I swear this rocker chick is turning ghetto fabulous!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Today I forgot my lunch at home. I try to bring my lunch everyday. I meal plan. It works for me. It keeps me eating healthy and it is a lot less expensive and less wasteful. The food options around my work are very slim so I end up at either Subway or Rubios.
So today I decide to go to Subway. I usually order a kids meal- tiny turkey sandwich with provolone, light mayo, tomatoes, olives, and pickles :)
I pick apart the sandwich (no bread for me), eat a few apple slices, and throw the (100% juice) Juice box in the fridge at work for another day or time.
back to Subway. I am in line waiting to pay, texting away on my phone and I see the case. You know the one with the cookies. Yes, cookies. I was never a sweets kind of person but for some reason in my stressed out mind I had to have a cookie. The girl in front of me who was plus size was ordering her foot long and chips and cookies and a soda... all I wanted was 1 little cookie and I have done so well and its just a cookie. I wanted to cry. Unfair, she was getting a cookie and I really wanted a cookie. So in my analytical mind I decided I would order a cookie...one wouldn't hurt...right?
I go to pay and guess what cookies are 3 for $1.00...oooh a sale...So yep give me 3... sure I can't pass up a sale. I can share with my girls :)
Back to work I go with 3 cookies. This is the closet I have been to a sugary cookie in 16 months. I was alone with cookies.
I worked a 12 hour day Saturday at work. By the time closing rolled around I was dead to the world but towards the end of the night I received a text from a friend we will call him SM. I met SM a few months ago. I haven't and don't plan on telling SM about my weight loss surgery. I feel that I am far enough out from WLS that I can blend in with normal people so to say. I try to hide my strange eating habits and not go on dates or outings with new people that involve food.
As much as I try to convince myself that SM is a good guy, I just don't like him in that way. We have went out a few times and I have tried to tell him this isn't working and nothing has or will be happening. He is very persistent to say the least. He tells me that I just am not giving him a chance. I will admit that it takes a lot for me to let someone in and he feels I just won't let him in but seriously I'm just not feeling it. I guess the reason I still talk to him is that I know how bad rejection hurts and I don't want to reject anyone. So I try to be his friend.
I do hate rejection and the thought of it. I am finding it hard to date post WLS. Truth be told I always have found dating to be hard. I did hide behind my weight. I will admit that now but it seems that every time I put myself out there I just get the brush off. The phone call that isn't returned, an unanswered email, or text. (I swear I am trying to put myself out there more but to this day it still is happens) So I tend to just hang back and not date as much as I should. I just don't understand men and maybe that is my problem I need to stop trying to understand. After this weekend I really do give up. I'm going to live my life like the stereo typical crazy cat lady but I will have dogs instead. I'm not a cat person.
I can't read men and I need to stop trying.
Back to SM. So I decide to go out with him after work against my better judgement I might add and so what does he want to do? Oh lets just go to Denny's and talk..since its already so late...ooh
are you ready?
um Liz you really never want to eat.....
do you have an eating disorder?
ha ha only if you knew :) I laughed it off but I swear he thinks I have an eating disorder and here I thought I was starting to blend in with the normal people once again...
I really want to know what men want? I always end up in the friend territory...How do I avoid that?
It's funny but I see people around me enter into and exit so many different relationships and I can't even get a guy to buy me stupid flowers. I guess its not funny its
PS I told SM once again this isn't working and I just want to be friends..How come the guy I want to be friends with wants more? ha ha yep Story of my life :)
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Yep instead of eating cookies or
Hi! My name is Liz and I am a
So please don't take anything you read here that seriously. It usually just comes out of left field when something or someone pisses me off :)
PS If I gave you the link to this blog you should feel super duper special. I don't share my un-censored self with
Friday, August 5, 2011
1. I'm a work-a-holic
2. I cry every time I watch Extreme Home Makeover - this is why I
3. I have 2 dogs and if you don't like them
4. I have an extreme fear of driving
5. I love sleeping on clean sheets
6. I couldn't live without music
7. I love to cook but hate to do the dishes
8. I hate taking any type of medication including my vitamins but I still take vitamins 4-5 times a day
9. I have this huge wall I put up to keep people out. Slowly I'm trying to tear it down.
10. I have to have my toe nails painted at all times. I
Thursday, August 4, 2011
I'm gonna break it down. I
Well for me that day was today! I will say it was very refreshing for GI doctor to straight up tell me he doesn't know what's going on inside me. I'm not going to lie I am so sick of doctors giving me the run around. Every one has their own opinion and I'm willing to try anything to feel better. Well
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
This depresses me!
— Marilyn Monroe
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
That is exactly what I asked my Doctor....
It started maybe about a month after I had my gall bladder removed. I would wake up in the middle of the night in a puddle of sweat. Waking up in the morning with legs that feel as if they are made of jello, cold sweats, and dizziness among other symptoms. Before I went to the doctors I had read a lot about low blood sugar and went out and bought a cheap meter from the store.
I started to test my sugar levels and learned the highs and lows. What I learned is that when my sugar does crash it does so fast and for no reason. When I was first having low blood sugar people would often make comments about how pale I was and next thing I know I would be laying on the floor looking for some orange juice or crackers with peanut butter. Yep I love when my sugar crashes in front of customers...talk about awkward!
I feel the best when my sugar is in the mid 80s - low 90s. The problem is my sugar levels won't stay there. My lows have gone into the 40's and once I saw that I freaked out and went to the see the doctor. I know I needed help.
So what did the doctor say? You most likely have hyperinsulinemic hypoglycemia and you need to test your blood sugar and then the good old lets just wait and see. I love how that is the line every doctor gives you. I know a lot of problems do resolve by themselves but still when you are experiencing something like this it's a bit scary.
I went and saw my nutritionist for help and she gave me some good advice as far as trying to control the insulin spikes but still my blood sugar loves to crash for no reason what-so-ever!
I was supposed to go back and see the doctor at the start of summer if I haven't improved any but I don't want to I am so sick of going to the doctors. I'm sick of being sick. Life was so much easier and less complicated when I was fat.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Friday, July 29, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Yep and doing laundry is a lot easier and a little more enjoyable now!
Now off to bed since my flight is an early one.
Friday, July 22, 2011
I have been concerned with what others think and or say about me. I don't know where this insecurity is coming from. I have always been a very outgoing, self-confident lady.
I was very fortunate to be surrounded by a ton of AMAZING plus size ladies when I was in my early 20's They inspired me and taught me to love me for me (I don't know if any of them realize how huge of an influence they were to me, I know I need to tell them one day) and I also grew up in a household where I was not defined by my weight. I was loved for the person I am on the inside.
I never let others opinions concern me. I have always been
I have caught myself being so negative lately and that's so not me. I know I need to change this.
So today I had an WTF the moment What is wrong with me? I don't care what others think of me. If you think I'm too thin, don't eat properly, made the biggest mistake of my life, look like crap, am a bitch...oh well
I am a bitch and
This bitch is back...
so haters just hate...
I know who I am and I LOVE me and that is all that matters :)
If you don't like me remember it's mind over matter; I don't mind and you don't matter...
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
I think the reason I am so excited is the fact that I never ever take real vacations. See if you know me you would know that I am a total work-a-holic. Type A - yep me...I might be a little bit of a control freak.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
#1 I can hit 10,000 steps so easily. I think this is due to the fact that I am on my feet 10+ hours a day at work walking around in circles.
#2 You hold me accountable. If I am having a lazy day I know I have to go run or take the puppies on a long walk to hit my goal.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
So today came the plumber if that's what you would call him. I will call him over worked and under-paid worker guy! I came home to this beauty.
Yep! He found a leak in the wall and fixed it. I hope it really is fixed. I don't want to deal with this crap over the weekend. Oh and the holes will be fixed after it dries out. Does anyone else find it really unsettling that there is only a thin wall separating me from creepy neighbor guy? ***eak*** think I need to cover the holes somehow!
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
It's funny. I swear before my #wls it was so hard to find clothes. Options for plus sized clothing is very limited. I don't want to look like an old lady. I would like to think that I have always been a trendy accessorized kind-of girl. I swore shopping life would be easier when I could walk into any store and shop.
I still can't find clothes for the life of me. I went shopping today and found 1 top. Yep just 1. This sucks. I need to find clothes to cover this or that (arms/thighs)and maybe summer just isn't the right season for me.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
This past year has been full of so many challenges for me. I feel that I have had the most emotional year of my life. I have never had a close family member die. This year I lost two. I lost my Grandmother in September to lung cancer.
Growing up I felt like my Grandma was a good Grandmother to me. I remember spending the weekends at her house and walking to the grocery store to buy vegetable soup aka my favorite. She was the one who taught me to put Cheetos in my vegetable soup and it was a chubby girls dream come true. (I can blame some of my adult weight on the veggie soup and Cheetos combo). I remember her teaching me how to cook and playing bingo with her. We used to watch Star Search and she always loved clowns. At one point in my life she had a huge collection of clowns that is until one of my junkie Uncles stole them all.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I still want to lose 20 pounds (maybe more...I will know once I get there) and I need to lose 5 more to hit my surgeons goal weight for me which was set at 180 pounds.
I feel great! I registered to run my first 5k in September. Funny thing is its my birthday present to myself. I want to prove to myself that I can do a 5k (and hopefully a marathon one day!) so I decided to run one the weekend before my 32nd birthday.
I still can't believe how far I have come in a little over 9 months. I am so proud of myself and excited to see what the future holds for me!