Work is stressful. I am stressed out. I can admit this. I need another vacation or I need something else but that is so not blog appropriate. Well not for this blog anyways. :)
Today I forgot my lunch at home. I try to bring my lunch everyday. I meal plan. It works for me. It keeps me eating healthy and it is a lot less expensive and less wasteful. The food options around my work are very slim so I end up at either Subway or Rubios.
So today I decide to go to Subway. I usually order a kids meal- tiny turkey sandwich with provolone, light mayo, tomatoes, olives, and pickles :)
I pick apart the sandwich (no bread for me), eat a few apple slices, and throw the (100% juice) Juice box in the fridge at work for another day or time.
back to Subway. I am in line waiting to pay, texting away on my phone and I see the case. You know the one with the cookies. Yes, cookies. I was never a sweets kind of person but for some reason in my stressed out mind I had to have a cookie. The girl in front of me who was plus size was ordering her foot long and chips and cookies and a soda... all I wanted was 1 little cookie and I have done so well and its just a cookie. I wanted to cry. Unfair, she was getting a cookie and I really wanted a cookie. So in my analytical mind I decided I would order a cookie...one wouldn't hurt...right?
I go to pay and guess what cookies are 3 for $1.00...oooh a sale...So yep give me 3... sure I can't pass up a sale. I can share with my girls :)
Back to work I go with 3 cookies. This is the closet I have been to a sugary cookie in 16 months. I was alone with cookies.
I do the good thing and pick apart my food (like I always do) and eat some apple slices. Then I look at the cookie and as silly as this sounds the cookie didn't look so good. It was deformed and greasy looking. I realized that I didn't really need the cookie, my head wanted the cookie.
I felt like I wanted to cry over a cookie.
Other people eat cookies. This is unfair.
Life is unfair. I gave the cookie away.
Well I gave all 3 cookies away. I don't need cookies.
I haven't worked this hard to give it all away for a stupid cookie. I know what you are thinking a little cookie won't hurt but I honestly feel it would. It would open a door that I have closed.
I know I had a stressful day and the cookie would of just set me back. I have made so much progress as an emotional eater and I refuse to give in now. I am stronger. I can do this. I will do this :)